There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
