I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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