it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
