The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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