naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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