Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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