Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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