I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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