You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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