she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
