i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
