Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she told me i tasted like america
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
