it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
