no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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