enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
