glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
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The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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