it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
