if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
