no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
