So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
