I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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