Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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