Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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