Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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