i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
