I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just google imaged poop.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
