you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
