the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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