This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Actions speak louder than pants.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
