Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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