Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize