i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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