Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
