Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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