i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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