I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So much rum. So many feels.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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