I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal