Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

(310): View more from California

Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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(310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe

Replies (12) Good night (3182) Bad night (552)
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(480): View more from Arizona

you are hot. that is all.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

who is this?

(480): View more from Arizona

the delivery driver from silvermine.

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(480): you are hot. that is all. (1-480): who is this? (480): the delivery driver from silvermine. http://tfl.nu/dvq3

Replies (32) Good night (5614) Bad night (1492)
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(858): View more from California

Life is so much better after having sex.

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(858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju

Replies (39) Good night (11283) Bad night (771)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

tonight lets celebrate not being married

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(318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc

Replies (19) Good night (6920) Bad night (842)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

You make your fellow Jews happy.

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(412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio

Replies (16) Good night (6359) Bad night (1076)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.

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(484): It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever. http://tfl.nu/8zyq

Replies (47) Good night (5247) Bad night (1509)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Because we had sex in one.

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(919): Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory? (1-919): Because we had sex in one. http://tfl.nu/y2am

Replies (7) Good night (5705) Bad night (959)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.

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(321): No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/z7lt

Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (2055)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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(608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o

Replies (7) Good night (2557) Bad night (914)
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(802): View more from Vermont

You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester

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(802): You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester http://tfl.nu/tjvn

Replies (2) Good night (2224) Bad night (776)
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(516): View more from New York

so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry

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(516): so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry http://tfl.nu/npqz

Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (1243)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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(605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k

Replies (10) Good night (717) Bad night (986)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.

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(720): Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun. http://tfl.nu/f4wi

Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (439)
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(631): View more from New York

Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.

(1-631): View more from New York

That's 30 minutes too many.

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(631): Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there. (1-631): That's 30 minutes too many. http://tfl.nu/4o2n

Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (399)
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(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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(432): They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED! http://tfl.nu/73e9

Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (292)

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