Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

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(762): View more from Georgia

Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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(540): View more from Virginia

Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

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(619): View more from California

You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

(1-619): View more from California

Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

(619): View more from California

Love you...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.

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