Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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  (857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r
  Replies (6) Good night (2072) Bad night (655)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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  (256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e
  Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (2822) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading

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  (541): Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading http://tfl.nu/n2uf
  Replies (31) Good night (2147) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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  (817): The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down. http://tfl.nu/fg57
  Replies (19) Good night (6904) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

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  (440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8
  Replies (13) Good night (902) Bad night (4919) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5255) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

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  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7589) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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  (917): and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower. http://tfl.nu/wwsw
  Replies (9) Good night (2529) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.

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  (920): I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly. http://tfl.nu/qe62
  Replies (18) Good night (1186) Bad night (2559) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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  (763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1962) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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  (270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n
  Replies (8) Good night (2375) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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  (417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (1868) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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  (870): There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood http://tfl.nu/fo50
  Replies (17) Good night (379) Bad night (2528) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery

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  (347): There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery http://tfl.nu/86su
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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  (313): I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs http://tfl.nu/01r5
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (982)

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