sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle