C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.