Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno

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(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno http://tfl.nu/xl94

Replies (7) Good night (1699) Bad night (588)
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(914): View more from New York

Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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(914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4

Replies (5) Good night (3018) Bad night (1338)
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(907): View more from Alaska

i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....

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(907): i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine.... http://tfl.nu/xp53

Replies (28) Good night (2136) Bad night (4527)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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(615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf

Replies (19) Good night (947) Bad night (4633)
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(650): View more from California

an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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(650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j

Replies (81) Good night (10397) Bad night (2985)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(205): I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers. http://tfl.nu/jlqp

Replies (21) Good night (7169) Bad night (1464)
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(817): View more from Texas

Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"

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(817): Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside" http://tfl.nu/md9m

Replies (12) Good night (6551) Bad night (1194)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.

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(734): Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out. http://tfl.nu/s89t

Replies (9) Good night (3815) Bad night (790)
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(283): View more from Ohio

by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

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(283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f

Replies (6) Good night (1999) Bad night (754)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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(803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn

Replies (3) Good night (1436) Bad night (607)
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(909): View more from California

I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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(909): I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats. http://tfl.nu/jzu3

Replies (10) Good night (822) Bad night (1224)
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(631): View more from New York

His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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(631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd

Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (1972)
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(660): View more from Missouri

He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.

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(660): He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/eb59

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (341)
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(734): View more from Michigan

You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.

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(734): You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down. http://tfl.nu/tbv8

Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (276)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.

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(803): I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean. http://tfl.nu/4wmr

Replies (2) Good night (93) Bad night (49)

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