im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was like eating out sand paper
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE