pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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