Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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