You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
