I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
