Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
