I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
