Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize