and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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