if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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