are you still at the devil's house?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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