i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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