ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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