I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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