you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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