god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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