My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize