SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
