All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
