omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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