Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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