honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
