I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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