i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
